The Backbloggery: Sticky Keys Suck

So, Apparently Nintendo May Have a Press Conference in October

2008-09-18T09:28:00.015-05:00

When something this simple comes around, it is the unwritten rule to claim a bunch of horse poo as the infallible. What is the nature of this poo? Well, let me tell you.

A chair magically slides over to Adam and he props one leg up on it, leans over on his leg, and pulls out a cigar putting it in his mouth, unlit.

Reader, this poo is none other than poo of injustice! This poo, so evil is it that if it does not have the proper contents, has the power to rid many gamers of their peace of mind! It can even force some of you to rid yourself of your console! Dastardly!

'Mario!', you cry.
'Zelda!' you demand.
'Pikmin!' you plead.
'Kid Icarus!' you scream, your torches and pitchforks in the air.

May I ask you something, gamer? What is your problem?

"What?" replies the 'hardcore' gamer, "Do you say I am wrong for demanding such things? Nintendo has no right do deny me this, they owe me even. For I am their most loyal customer and buy the most of their products. Yet they continually shun me, and focus on this new casual crowd!"

Mr. Hardcore, nearly gags at merely speaking the words. He continues,

"If they insist on abandoning me, I shall sell my console. This will show them!"

So, you intend for me to believe that selling your Wii will have any significant effect on anything? Aside from making the purchase a waste of your own, striven for cash and emptying at most little more than a foot from your shelf, what is this act supposed to accomplish? Sure you could gain money from eBay or some such nonsense, but all in all what does this do? Nothing. You aren't teaching Nintendo any kind of lesson. They will not change their new ways, all that has happened is you've simply removed a library from your access, and more than that you are simply being left behind. Also, this non-existent casual crowd is far from new.

(cue the 'you're just a fanboy' rhetoric)

Really, you are being left behind if you refuse what Nintendo is doing to the industry. They are starting it over and there is nothing that will stop this. They are pulling the exact same thing they did with the NES, and just as was back then, the industry will never be the same again. This is interpreted as a bad thing, as the death of games we know and love (which is far from the case), but it's seen this way only because it's different.

However that discussion is outside the scope of this post, and is said much better by this fellow. I highly recommend reading those in order (as they are set up as a sort of story), and then moving on to The Disruption Chronicles and reading those in order. They are vastly entertaining, extremely intelligent, unbiased, business based articles (but are written in the best way possible. I'd bet you've rarely read business articles as interesting as these) that I hope opens some of your eyes. If the info was bogus, I would bash him, but he's right. He's more right than most people I've yet seen discuss the same topic.

Now that that's off my chest, back to the topic at hand. I believe I was discussing 'hardcore' gamers reactions to the announcement of a possible press conference. As usual in these cases, rampant speculation was abound the moment the "news" broke. It seems some people just can't wait to cry about getting what they want. It's also fun to say "I totally called it!"

That's all it ever is and ever has been, though. A pitiful child's cry of 'give me what I want, because I want it now!'

"No! This is not so! We deserve hardcore support from Nintendo!"

Well, then shall I explore what some of the more popular demands are for this press conference? By the by, it is just a press conference. Not super megaton announcement expo. Keep that in mind. Please also keep in mind that Nintendo has said that there were no other big announcements for the year (and curse the internet I can't find the quote! Minus one for credibility). Whether this means at all or just concerning games is up in the air.

That aside, the Mario and Zelda teams are working on something. Wanting to see the new Zelda before next year is setting yourself up for disappointment. I realize it has been two years since Twilight Princess, but know that Zelda's take a long time to develop and spend most of their development time is spent in conceptual phases. Including in-game and playable conceptual phases. Just look at all the beta stuff that gets removed from the recent Zelda's yet seemed like they were solidly implemented.

Note that the next Zelda will be made ground up for Wii, and I have a feeling it will fully utilize Wii's capabilities much more than any game release thus far. It will go the Phantom Hourglass route in this sense. Twilight Princess was the last Zelda as we know it, remember? This doesn't necessarily mean such a drastic change as first person, or the infamous Project Deluge rumor (which admittedly sounds awesome in a way). I for one am extremely happy that the Zelda teams themselves realize that Zelda needs some kind of fresh start. Because they wanted to please the Ocarina of Time generation so badly, they stifled themselves and the series. Before someone mentions it, yes I know Ocarina of Time was a spiritual clone of A Link to the Past.

I'm positive Twilight Princess is disappointing in the way it is because the developers were bored with the series' hole it was dug into, and felt they were forced to make it. So, in light of all this and the time required to make something representative of the final product, it would be an absolute fan service to show a glimpse of anything at a press conference. It would also be a move I would not find very smart. They should have learned the dangers of over-hyping with Twilight Princess.

As for Mario. Obviously one is in the works, probably for a hand held. Although it was said recently by Miyamoto himself that this was the first time in a long time that they were thinking about making two 'main' Mario games for the same console. He said console not hand held. This would have been the first time since Mario 2 & 3 on the NES. Wow. Either way, Galaxy just came out, so I doubt we'll get much of anything other than maybe another confirmation that they're working on it.

Pikmin...ok? I adore Pikmin, in fact I'm playing through Pikmin 2 right now and absolutely loving it. I would love nothing more than to see a Pikmin 3. What I want to know, is what in the world makes people think anything of anything about Pikmin will be shown so soon? I say next summer at tops. Of course I have nothing to back my claim either, but it seems way to out there. The only reason we know it's coming is because Miyamoto thought it important to say to get the gaming press off their backs. It's probably in some pretty early stages, though I have no way of really knowing.

Kid Icarus is one that I really don't get. People, no one but you knows of the series, there is no brand recognition. Nintendo is not a company that exists to pander to your candy covered childhood memories of their games. When they do it's not because they have to. A new Kid Icarus has been rumored for a long long time now, going back all the previous generations. This time only seems more likely because of vague hints dropped and Pit appearing in Brawl.

Note: Super Smash Brothers is rarely a beacon for impending events. Fire Emblem was a marketing maneuver shoved in at the last second.

Whether one is coming or not is apart from the point. I feel the odds of us seeing anything close would be nothing short of a miracle. I could be wrong. If I am, well then welcome the miracle I will.

This last one is the most likely to appear, and I'm not saying this because I want one. I'm saying this because it has been talked about more and more by Nintendo. A storage solution has a high chance of at the very least, being discussed at this conference. I'm sure you've all heard Nintendo's claims of it being "better than a hard drive." Many of you roll your eyes thinking it's Nintendo's marketing blabber.

Behold holographic data storage! Note that Nintendo has filed a patent for this technology jointly with InPhase Technologies. Fellow gamers, you have your better storage solution. Whether or not there is talk about it at the press conference, I don't know. I say there is a greater chance than most of this other stuff.

I too have a whole list of games I want:

Mario
Zelda
Pikmin
StarFox
Metroid (it'll be a while for this one)
F-Zero
Donkey Kong Platformer

and a bajillion others, but I'm not cramming them into my expectations for a press conference. Expect more talk about WiiMusic, maybe some more WiiFit, Animal Crossing, and the like. Basically a recap of E3 and Nintendo's direction. I doubt we'll hear more of broken wrists, though. Also, give Cammie a break guys, she doesn't write the E3 speeches or control the content. I swear it's the truth.

I think the more important thing, and it's one that worries me a little, is what games people are asking for. It's not something new, it's all the same old series' we've known and loved for a long time now. I want something new and exciting above everything else. The tried and true series' have their place (and I love them to death), but something new needs to come to the table. I hate to end on a sombre note, but it's true.

Hocotate Frieght Progress Report Day 15

2008-09-15T23:35:00.007-05:00

Louie's Travel Journal, Day 15:

We've had another devastating setback. Even after what happened on Day 13, everything seemed to be flowing smoothly. On Day 14 we had again built up decent numbers in both the Red and Yellow species, re-discovered the Blue which proved very fortunate, mainly because the other Pikmin seem to be brain dead. The Purple and White are getting back their numbers but it's pretty slow going.

After clearing a path to a new cave yesterday, Captain Olimar and I went to bed with the intentions of gathering a large Pikmin group and heading down in the morning. Everything was sliding along pretty well. Except we lost five before we even made it back to the cave. You would think a species incapable of swimming would be instinctively inclined to avoid water.

I have become frustrated more than once for this ineptitude. I may be a bit of a dolt, but I at least realize survival when it needs to be done. I'm still not sure whether I should feel bad or not when one dies. Either they have a very sophisticated 'hive-mind' neurological structure, or they are just really weird . Perhaps they are all one piece of the same being?

These Pikmin creatures, as well as the other facets of the ecosystem on this planet are way too confusing. To confusing for me to even care. I'm not at all interested in them anywhere near as close as Captain Olimar is. I can't see the use in knowing any of this stuff. I often catch him daydreaming about it all. Amazingly it's often at the same time as while issuing orders or in the heat of battle.

Speaking of Olimar...

As we ventured deeper and deeper into this new cave today, we lost more and more Pikmin to it's beasts (but mostly to it's water). However it was never enough of a loss for either of us to consider turning back and losing all of our tow. Yet we suddenly came across a new unknown creature.

This was not the problem, it was expected even. We circled it to gauge it's attack method, and our timing couldn't have been any worse! It spat out a large boulder as soon as the bulk of our Pikmin came around to our side it! It was an awful sight, and a crushing blow! We now had less than half of our team in one stroke!

Olimar insisted we push on. "We have the resources and the smarts, we can make it. It's not much farther anyway," is what he told me. I have so much faith in him as a captain, that I didn't even question how he could have possibly known how deep the cave went. Besides that he had been here just a few weeks earlier.

We split up the team, and I headed further in as he stayed back to gather up the rest of the treasure (which still looks like junk to me!) in the area. I encountered a second boulder spewing beast and did my best to avoid it's attacks. As I threw more and more Pikmin onto it's back, Olimar finally caught up and began to help. However his timing too, was awful. No sooner than he appeared, it seemed, did a boulder smash into him, leaving an unconscious lump on the ground.

He was transported to safety by our ships detachable pod almost instantly, and it was then that I realized I could not go on, despite his confidence. That man is crazy. Our little armada has diminished significantly again, though not nearly as badly as before. The ship says he'll be fine by tomorrow morning, though I'm going to keep on him about going easy on himself.

This is the craziest adventure I've ever had in my life. Oh yeah, and Journal, I snuck a look at Olimar's personal "expedition" journal while he was knocked out, and he's waaaay to melodramatic in there. His actual reports and notes about the wildlife sound just like him, but his journal is way over the top. Talking about wars and being all heartfelt about the Pikmin. I wonder why that is? Do you think he just enjoys writing that way? Does he want to be remembered for grander things than his real life (which is odd seeing as he discovered a whole new planet)? Maybe he's insane. I'd hate it if I found out I was stranded on some foreign poisonous planet with a loony.

Oh, now I've gone and scared myself...

Hocotate Frieght Progress Report Day 13

2008-09-15T23:23:00.006-05:00

Captains Log: Day 13 of Expedition II

I've just suffered the most horrible loss I have yet encountered in battle. I alongside my second in command, Louie, entered the cavern with ninety-four brave, honorable soldiers. We emerge a bloodied, war torn, victorious twelve.

Please, dear reader, have a moment of silence for the fallen. They were the most honorable and capable Flower Pikmin this man has ever known. Two fold for the inexperienced Leaf Pikmin. If it weren't for their heroic sacrifices we would have never again have seen the sun rise on the surface.

We have to recoup our losses, for war (whether over territory or otherwise) does not break. We lost many a good soldier, some of which are harder to come by than others. It will be a difficult week ahead, as we must continue to push forward while we attempt to simultaneously rebuild our forces. The Red and Yellow Factions I am not too concerned about, they are easiest to recharge. It is the Purple and White Factions which worry me.

They are invaluable because of their unique assets, yet the currently known terrain requires that I take another squadron into the depths to procure these Pikmin. This is a potentially counter-intuitive measure that is nonetheless critically necessary. There is no way around it.

Now is not the time to grieve, nor is it the time to become enthralled in the throes of future plans and strategies. Tonight is a time for honor. Even still I cannot bring myself away from what tomorrow holds. If we do not control it, we will fail. We now know an enemy of the same status as ones previously encountered yet of far greater stature exsists. I have christened him Emperor Bulblax, and if there are such vastly stronger variations of currently known common foes, I fear what else awaits us.

Can we succeed? Will we even make it past tomorrow morning? These are uncertain hours, but ones that would never have been granted us if not for those who will never again know life. Salute them reader, for their souls are the souls of heroes.

This is a blog post

2008-09-09T17:42:00.001-05:00

For varieties sake.

A Game In Review: Blaster Master 2

2008-08-24T19:16:00.018-05:00

The sequel to the fantastic Blaster Master on the NES shows what happens when mediocrity runs free. It is a game that feels like it was created by a team with no backing, no inspiration or pride in their work. It is a tad slower paced than the first game, and almost certainly way too long for all the cheap shots it throws your way. With all that said, it's certainly not a bad game. At it's core it's perfectly functional with solid controls, and there is some fun to be had.

The game is played much like the first in that you pilot a vehicle, S.O.P.H.I.A., which has a pivoting cannon. This is your primary means of transportation and defense, as you jump across platforms and landscapes all the while aiming in all directions to blast away the mutants. Personally it looked like I was just being really cruel to the wildlife of this world, but that's probably just me. By holding 'down' and the 'C' button you can enter and exit your vehicle and travel around on foot.

This allows passage down ladders, through tunnels, and doorways you vehicle can not usually reach. Generally this is how you'll find some boss to fight in order to gain a new ability. When outside your vehicle, however, you take more damage, can be hurt from any fall that is one "man" higher than your jump, and your main weapon does less damage (though not by much).

As a side note, the vehicle enter and exit method creates a horribly overlooked problem. If you park your car over a ladder, and get out to climb down the ladder(which you may often do), there is no possible way to get back into your car. Pressing down makes you climb back down the ladder, so there is no way to return to the vehicle.

The aforementioned abilities either allow you to use better weapons or give you and/or your vehicle new abilities which allow you to reach previously unavailable areas. The execution of this mechanic is sadly never used to it's full potential. The drill you gain to bust through metal, for example, is used twice in the entire game. Once right after you receive it in the second level, and once more in the final level. Both of these times are relatively insignificant too.

Another problem is even if you look at the item when it's dropped from the boss, you won't always know what the hell it's supposed to be. One of the bosses drops some goggles (straight into the lava below, by the way. I'll get into that though), and when you pick them up you have no idea what they were for. In fact, I still have to clue as to what they were for.

The method of switching between your items, is tedious anyway. I suppose it's for the best then, that you are really only able to switch between your secondary weapons and the drill.

You are able to turn your jet pack and hover boosters on and off (before you get them even)I'll never understand the point. You could do it in Super Metroid too, and it baffles me as to why.

This severe lack of usefulness of the other features is mostly due to the bland, boring, straightforward level design. The environments look varied enough, but the most exploration that can be done is usually in open chambers with platforms strewn about. There is no real consequence or reward for finding every nook and cranny, though it would lead you on to believe otherwise. Generally, these few areas are completely empty, save for a hazard or two.

Most of the time the levels are just plain linear. Taken away from the fact that the first Blaster Master required such exploration, with a healthy dose of backtracking (which has been removed entirely), linear levels would not be so bad. Yet they are flat and unvaried (despite aesthetic appearances), rarely offering any actual fun platforming.

The thing that changed the most dramatically from the first Blaster Master is the overhead sections. In the first these sections were always on foot, and you'd run around an isometric area, blasting at enemies, and finding items. Blaster Master 2 has you driving your vehicle through these (much sparser) overhead parts. A good idea? Maybe, but as with the actual platforming levels, these suffer from blandness. They are all squared off corridors, each with the same enemies, and only a color pallet change to differentiate between the levels.

Top this off with awkward overhead controls. The 'body' of the car will drive any direction you push, albeit it may have to turn to to get straightened up again, which is fine, and feels much better than it probably reads. That doesn't make it great though. The turret is the problem. It always faces one direction unless you push either 'B' or 'C' to turn it. I found that the turret turned the opposite of the direction that the buttons feel like it should. Holding 'B' makes it turn right, and hold 'C' makes it turn left.

In practice this feels incredibly odd, and while I got better at it, I never fully got used to it by the end of the game. Leading to some frustrating deaths. All of this is coupled with the car bouncing oddly off walls and generally steering in an odd manner.

Oh God! Deadly water drops, forget these giant bats and inexplicable robots, run!!Seriously, those water drops will do more unfair damage to you than anything in this game, sans maybe the spiked mines.

Surviving these terrains are a much different beast. Despite a lack of variety in enemies, shooting and evading the baddies in this world can be quite fun. Skill and memorization is often employed to best maneuver them. They are all weak, but you generally are surrounded or in a situation which you just run straight into them. What little fun there is here is lost fairly quickly though, and even gives way to frustration at times.

This is because the game is incredibly cheap at times, and this creates an artificial difficulty that is just annoying. Enemies and hazards are often placed in spots where there is absolutely no hope of reacting. Taking damage is inevitable. I'm all for hard games, but a game can be incredibly hard without being unfair. Just look at the Contra series, or any number of fantastic scrolling shoot 'em ups.This difficulty is further expanded by the exclusion of any kind of password or file system. The game is just too long for it's difficulty to not have one.

The bosses are especially guilty of using artificial difficulty. They seem to subscribe to the strategy of "get hurt, move faster, attack faster, get closer." This is a winning strategy when used right, but these bosses interpret "get closer" as "stand on top of the player." See what's wrong with this? Yeah, you take damage when you touch them. No biggie though, you should be able to move away, except that by then they are fast enough that you have no chance to turn back around and shoot unless you want to take damage again because they caught up with you.

There is one boss that is more guilty of this than any of the others. It just so happens to be the second boss in the game, which you encounter roughly ten minutes in, if that.

There's that bastard. He flies sporadically after taking enough damage, and insists upon standing on your face, while continuing to blast whatever the hell those balls are (larvae?) at you. This asshole has the nerve to pop up again near the end of the game when much of your life is likely gone. This leads into another problem that is glaringly obvious when nearing the end of the game. The developers just didn't care. They reused five bosses, three of which are relatively close after their first encounter, and the other two are just the first two bosses with a pallet swap.

The last level itself is inexcusably empty, especially when compared to the rest of the game which was empty enough as it is. The final boss is just a joke in light of all the lesser ones. The music itself is also a victim of the developers mentality. If it's not plain annoying it's too boring to be remembered, and if it ever actually fits with the level, it's by a thread or by using a generic technique. Ironically, I found the last levels music to be the best, though it's still not of stupendous quality.

So Blaster Master 2 is not a worthy predecessor of the first. Not even close. Even still, I'm not going to tell someone not to play it, as it is not that bad. I'll just recommend against it, as there probably isn't much fulfillment going to come from it. If you get a chance to play it, make your own decision, but I bet it won't be far off from mine.

Um, what?

2008-08-14T21:40:00.006-05:00

I don't know what to write about! I started this blog all pumped, and after that super long Sonic post I've lost all semblance of subjects with which to be opinionated about. I'll keep trucking however! I have some ideas of ideas, but they must be fleshed out well enough to be ideas. Then and only then can they be written down in this mess of words I call a blog.

Here's a treat for you fine folks at the Backloggery, though:

By adamist at 2008-08-14

You all kept complaining, well when that's finished all the way up expect to see that as my new banner for a long while! May not be the smartest move if I want people to actually view my page but you can't unsee it, so I win! Uni-boob awaaaaay!

Rescuing Sonic, and Destroying the Checkered Glasses That Bind Him.

2008-07-31T00:12:00.002-05:00

This is a subject that is likely to push most peoples button's in one way or another, but one I think needs more intelligent discussion than it gets. Sonic the Hedgehog is one of the most revered and simultaneously hated video game characters ever. Frankly, I'm tired of all the bitching. Many people consistently shun him, and shoot him down, rarely offering a shred of how to improve things.

When they do offer up a suggestion you can usually find such brilliantly thought out ideas as, "bring him back to his roots," and, "bring the run-as-fast-as-you-can gameplay back!" You also get such wonderful gems as, "Get rid of all the new characters, we only need Sonic," or the absolutely genius, "You cannot have a fast 3D platformer." That is not even including those who think he should be sent ter Davy Jones, yar! It pains me, it really does.

I'm writing this (poorly written) piece to spit in the face of all the naysayers, hopefully opening their minds and enlightening them in t,'06, Green Hill Zone, this is the truth deal with ithe process. It's going to be a rant of sorts, tearing apart those things I hold dear, for their betterment. It's also to go more in depth about the series and subsequently where I think it should go. Then at least they'll have intelligent flames to throw. Not to say that all the hate is unwarranted, Sonic has seen a decrease in quality, but not near the extent that it's portrayed.

"Ahem..." you say as you hold up Sonic '06.

I smack my face and reply, " I'll get to that! Hang on!"

You then promptly burn the game. Nice. Money well spent there, dude.

So, in order to explore the series and the path it should take, it seems best we should explore the journey it has already taken. Seeing as you bunch of whiny babies cry about returning to roots all the damn time.

Re-Discovering The Family Traditions

When Sonic was first introduced to the world, he was touted for his speed. The first game in the series blew everything the NES had out of the water in terms of visuals and sound. Pictures and videos were shown of Sonic blazing over verdant checkered hillsides, through ruins, pinball machines, and factories of who knows what. The whole time, showing off just how much faster the genesis could move. Flying off ramps, rolling through loops, and bouncing off springs. He was certainly faster than that Mario character. These sights and sounds hypnotized onlookers, and they were caught in awe. Meanwhile, SEGA was behind everyone, brainwashing them with their incessant shouting of "SPEED!"

Thus, the image of Sonic running non-stop through Green Hill Zone is one of the most endearing and enduring memories people have of the series. As such this often is said to be a symbol of the essence of what Sonic is as a whole. Well, guess what anonymous people who shout this in unison. You're wrong. You are dead wrong.

"How can this be?" you say, "Surely you can't be serious!"

Oh, I'm serious. And don't call me Shirley. There are certain points I want to make about all the classics, and what the newer ones are really doing wrong as opposed to what most people think they are doing wrong. Many people agree that Sonic Adventure 2 is the last good 3D Sonic game and is when the series started it's descent into the laughable oblivion. Even so, there are many complaints about the 3D games, some more unfounded then others.

Forget the camera, which isn't really as bad as all that. Forget some of the glitches, which were more present in Adventure 1 than 2 and Heroes, and I'm not sure why people claim otherwise. Those things don't matter, at least not initially. I want to talk about the first fundamental things that the series has done wrong when it made the inevitable leap into the crazy 3 dimensional realm, and the games beyond those.

........

Really, people the camera isn't as bad as all that. Am I supposed to believe it is coincidence that every time I've played through the games it was behaving abnormally by not messing up at all? Sheer dumb luck? Perhaps I have the only properly made copies of the games in existence? Maybe you all just suck at games. Hur hur hur...

Alright, back to the topic. Multiple playable characters are nothing new to the series (I'll get more in depth about these characters later), but at the time, Sonic Adventure offered the most playable characters the main series had yet known. This was the beginning of most folks festering hatred for new characters being introduced into the series. Eventually leading to a great number of people wanting to just be rid of any other playable characters all together. Though there are some that have thought that since the introduction of Tails.

Such hatred didn't always exist, however. There was a time when people were just frustrated that Knuckles and Tails couldn't run freely, and that they had to fish with an inbred cat. Enjoyment was still had, however. Then Sonic Adventure 2 rolled around, and suddenly they had to hunt some more, and Tails wasn't even able to get his lazy ass up out of his plane. People overlooked the fact that these stages were much more polished and refined than in Adventure 1, and instead took to yelling. Sonic and Shadows stages were fine, damn it! Why force us to do the others!...E-Except Eggman, he's fine with the shooting.

Well, my fellow, former, and never Sonic fans, I'm going to tell you, you are wrong again. I'll agree, Sonic and Shadow's stages were the most fun, but that doesn't mean they were right. To start, let's examine where this all started. Sonic Adventure.

Oh, and I'll get back to the other characters, don't you worry.

Ah, the ubiquitous 'Sonic Chased by Shamu' picture. Don't do your research and you'll leave thinking this was the only stage in the game.

Sonic's stages in Sonic Adventure were incredible. At the time, they were some of the most amazing sites ever beheld upon a television screen. It was fast, it was gorgeous, and it was non-stop. Which was the problem. The generation was early, 3D was still a baby, the glitches were forgivable. People had fun. Little did they know, the non-stop nature of most of Sonic's levels would hurt him more than help.

As time moved on, this became much more prevalent. Take Sonic Adventure 2 for example, which is a personal favorite of mine. In this game, the platforming took an even bigger back seat to the "push forward, occasionally jump" method of play. In fact, they even added a new mechanic to let you sit back and watch the game go by, and that was grinding. Sure the new 3D gameplay was more refined than in the predecessor, but the fact remains, this is where it started to lose it's welcome. Sonic saw a small bit of an absence for a few years until the next generation of consoles came into full bloom.

Dreamcast croaked, and Sonic was in need of a new home. Obviously, he chose his fiercest rival's house. It was only friendly competition after all. Well, for the sake of this it was. Maybe Sonic payed him off somehow. We won't get into that.

So, Sonic Adventure 2 was slightly spiffed up and polished, and ported over to the Gamecube. Sonic Adventure 2: Battle would go on to be a commercial success, and [Adventure 2] is often touted as the best 3D Sonic there is. Though, that is obviously divided amongst the fans by massive margins. Alongside this port was a small game, developed by an unnamed company, and published by SEGA for the Game Boy Advance. That developer, though unknown at the time, was Dimps, and that game was Sonic Advance.

Sonic Advance was well received all around for it's "return to roots" style of gameplay, despite sometimes feeling of a lack of speed whilst running unaided. The game had two sequels, each more well received than the last. Each doing things even more wrong than the last. These games, because they were so well received, shrouded the fact that they were doing exactly what people were coming to hate about the Sonic series' gameplay.

The Advance series (especially 2) promoted the push forward and occasionally jump mentality to major extremes. Often times, the games seemed to play themselves so long as right was pushed. Half a level, sometimes more would go by before it would need any more of your input. Advance 1 was least guilty of this, but it still pulled it. Dimps would go on to make the Sonic Rush series, and they too would be given acclaim all around.

"This is how Sonic should stay," you'd read in comments and reviews. This scares me. Because this is what the majority is screaming for and it is what the majority is getting. You should know all too well how the majority feels about Sonic right now. Yeah, that shows me most of you don't really know what the hell you want.

Re-Discovering The True Family Traditions

I feel like I'm rambling and maybe even talking in circles, so I'll force myself to get to my first point. Watch this video below, it's of the entirety of Green Hill Zone in Sonic 1. You all want back to roots so much, well let's see what that is. Ignore the fact that the person playing kind of sucks, this is good. Because I want you to really examine the level design and gameplay mechanics, and a slower paced play-through is great for this.

The main points in this video I want to talk about are physics, inertia, and level design.

Physics and Inertia

This is one of the most important building blocks of the classic Sonics and one that has been pretty much forgotten by all but a few. I hope you noticed that, in the video, Sonic was not much faster than Mario. If he even was at all. That is, until he hit a spring, rolled down a hill, or some other such thing that built up his inertia. If he slowly walked up a curved surface, he would eventually stop and walk right back down it, being too slow to reach the top.

Sonic didn't used to be the fastest thing alive unaided. He was the fastest thing alive after running down a hill or lauched from a spring, sans the speed shoes. Even still, he'd eventually slow down to his average speed. He'd go even faster if you get him in a ball and roll through the stages. Many times you could make Sonic leave the screen, and the camera would have to catch up.

If Sonic had a maximum speed in the old games, I don't know. I do know that it seemed he would continue to gain more and more speed with seemingly no cap on it, so long as you could continue to build his inertia. This is one of the most important things that has been slowly killed off in the series as of late. Part of what makes the old games so endearing, and fun.

As of late, this aspect has been nearly removed completely. In the Adventure series the only semblance of it was in running on walls, and when rolling. The loops were disconnected from speed entirely; You would run around them by merely touching the base. Sonic Heroes had done away with even the wall-running and rolling. The only thing left was "push forward."However, Heroes did bring back a portion of platforming, which was a step in the right direction. Even so, it introduced multiple hit enemies, which most agree was not a smart move.

If memory serves, the Sonic Advance series did not do away with these physics at all. Dimps did good with this, that is until Sonic Rush. The Spinball (roll) was still in the Rush series, but it was utterly useless. Whereas it used to gain you massive amounts of speed, now it stops you in your tracks. Even when on a steep hill. It was reduced to a move that was only useful to get up those pesky curved cliffs.

Reducing Sonic's signature move to nothing more than a mere annoyance is not the way to go. SONIC THE HEDGEHOG (or Sonic '06 or Sonic NextGen, whichever you prefer) was absolute blasphemy in the physics aspect, which is majorly due to rushed development time. Even still, the game used the Havok engine, and I assume this could have easily allowed for physics better than this...

I'm not sure that should count, since it is a technical problem, not so much a design problem. I suppose it still stands, though. Next up is Sonic and The Secret Rings, and this is a touchy one.

Sonic and the Secret Rings introduced for the first time in the series history, an on-rails forced forward style of gameplay. I guess Sonic Team saw what was happening and decided to remove the need for even forward input. Gotta make it easy! This is a touchy one because of what people feel about this game. This is arguably the most divided game (aside from maybe Heroes) in terms of how people liked it.

Many loved it, and praised it for it's unconventional style, saying this is the route Sonic should be taking. Some even saying how Sonic was all about rushing forward, so forcing this aspect allowed the player to focus on the obstacle course at hand. Others flat out hated it for a variety of reasons, most focusing on the control and technical drawbacks. The main problem with the physics in this game is that, well... there were none.

Yet, the focus and style of the game allows this to be forgivable. To an extent. Oh, what's this I feel? The next segment coming on? Ok, here we go!

Level Design

Speed is worthless, if you have horrible locales to run through. Whats worse, the location isn't fit for anything much, other than run, run, run. Where's the variety? Where's the fun? This is the next most important thing that Sonic has done wrong as of late. If you recall, in the video above of Green Hill Zone (the first zone, which in every game so far the first zone or levels has been the easiest to run straight through), there was alot going on. Multiple paths and secrets abound, some you had to explore or experiment to find (i.e: the walls you can bust down by rolling). Rings, baddies, and items everywhere.

The player had to stop often, except in certain areas which were tailor made for zooming, and platform or carefully traverse the land and baddies in some form or another. In fact, the later levels rarely offered such areas to just run through. The areas that were made for purposly blazing through had tons you could do that would pass by if you decided not to run through. This gave the player the choice of exploring or running, and it was great for it. Long story short, the games offered a great variety of ways to play through each level.

This was carried on through every game in the main series until the Sonic Adventure series. Sonic Advance and Rush all had multiple paths, but they were so minor or out of the way they weren't worth the effort. Every other game in the main series since had basically taken to linear path method. Even the rare split paths were pointless and offered no variety or incentive to take them.

The split path argument is one of the few valid ones that people complain about, and one that Sonic Team seems to be tending to with the newly announced Sonic Unleashed. Unfortunately (and obviously I can't say for sure until I play), judging by the trailers and recent E3 showings, many of these split paths are still being cheapened. They seem to lead simply, around or over a building or wall before meeting right back up with the main path and no other alternative.

A new feature added, thanks to the speed Sonic moves in Unleashed, is quick time events to complete in mid-flight (during bullet time) if you wish to go on an alternate path. I don't really know how this feels in execution, but from what I could gather from the trailers and E3 footage it only serves to mechanize the multiple paths and majorly break the flow of the game. Sad because it appears to polish up so much else. It looks like the daytime sections practically play themselves, however, which is obviously something I hope is not prevalent throughout the game.

Something I've almost forgotten to mention about the levels in the Genesis Sonic's. Level specific gimmicks were abundant, and made each level feel unique and fun to play through. They added enough variety through the games that it helped keep it from getting boring. Greens Hill Zone had revolving spiked logs, Mushroom Hill has bouncing shrooms, and manual elevators. Even simple things, like the revolving crates in Mystic Cave.

Enemies were also level themed, and acted accordingly. The bottom line is the old classic Sonic games had worlds that were fun, colourful, varied, and alive in their own way. These colourful worlds still allowed for a serious tone when the need arose. These elements are stripped down to a shell of its former self.

All that said, I've a feeling it's time to move on to another subject. So how about I ramble on about one of the greatest travesties that Sonic has yet suffered. It has nothing to do with how the game is played, it has nothing to do with polish. It has to do with an aspect of fun that has been mysteriously lost.

Super Sonic, why do you hide?

This section is going to be small, because I'm going to reiterate what many have said. What happened to Super Sonic, or all the super forms for that matter? He was only available for use at any time in two of the main games (counting Sonic 3 & Knuckles as one game), but he made such an impact in peoples imaginations, and was such a natural evolution that the newer games feel empty without him.

The super forms have been reduced to a climactic final boss fight in every game since adventure. There is nothing wrong with this. In fact you can only reach the final boss in Sonic 3 and Knuckles if you were able to go super (or hyper). This is fine, but you were also able to play as them within the levels themselves and it was a blast. This needs to be brought back severely, though that does bring up new challenges in a third dimension, but I'm confident the kinks can be worked out.

The most we've gotten about this was a Sega rep saying "we're still trying to figure out how we're going to handle that [Super Sonic]," when he was asked about collecting 50 rings and being able to go super in the levels. Not much to go on there. Oh, and mark my words people, we're seeing a Super Werehog.

So, where to go next? I suppose it is time to talk about the sheer amount of extra characters, what they add and what they take away. I did say I would after all...

"You know what they say, the more the merrier!"

"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things,"
"We should now speak of echidna's, of rabbit ears, and beans,"
"Of why the gator cannot find, the computer which he sings"

Okay, enough of that, it's awful anyway. Sonic the Hedgehog 2 marked the beggining of a grand tradition within the Sonic series. Well, it was grand for one more game at least. Miles "Tails" Prower (Miles per hour, get it? ololol) was introduced as a sort of gimmick to not only make a second game seem more enticing, but as a way to sneak in some 2 player action as well.

While there are naysayers (though they are few and faaaaar between), Tails was widely accepted into the wonderous world of video game land. He may have been a gimmick, but he was loveable because he was his own character. He looked different, acted different (he had a penchant for suicide), and even had his own trait to match Sonic's speed, he could fly. Granted when you played as him you couldn't fly (until Sonic 3), but that was beside the point.

All was well, until this dastardly red bastard decided he'd jack all of the chaos emeralds. Sonic put up a good fight, but when all was said and done, rushing blindly into an ambush spikes-to-the-nuts attack did him in. Suddenly we had a new enemy working alongisde this Robotnik fellow...or was he? It didn't matter, he tried to drown you, he turned off the carnivals power, the evil doer must be stopped!

Then Sonic & Knuckles came along and you got to see the other side of the story. Knuckles quickly became a fan favorite. He, just like tails, had his own traits. He could glide vast distances, punch through rocks, and climb walls. He also does pushups when he's defeated (obscure reference jokes FTW) .

Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails were all great seperate playable characters. They were each different and unique enough that they were fun to play through the games multiple times with. Take the variety of methods you could get through a level with Sonic alone, then multiply it by three and add each path that only Tails or Knuckles could reach, and then add the Tails exclusive and Knuckles exclusive paths. Not to mention the fun to be had just playing around with their unique abilities. Yeah, these guys were a hit. Also they are the primary colors so thats a point right?

So, Sonic Adventure rolled around and, as I mentioned before, it had the biggest cast of playable characters the main series had yet seen. Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy Rose, Big the Cat, and E-102 Gamma. That's six, double what was seen in the last official outing. The problems arose when people reached these three newcomers games.

Amy Rose was last seen in Sonic CD, Sonic R, and Sonic Drift. This was a fairly obscure character, so her inclusion in Adventure meant her first introduction to most people. Her gameplay was similar to Sonic's except that it was slow, and boring. Slow would not even be a problem, but she is slower than she should be. She ran faster in Sonic CD, and there she was a simple "chase Sonic" sprite at the end of the first freaking level.

You would progress, using Amy's Piko Piko Hammer as your primary means of defense against the relentless onslaught of stationary enemies. Amy's gameplay had a gimmick, and that was, reach the end of the level before you are caught by Zero, Doctor Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik's first creation of the E-series robots. The premise and idea is fantastic on paper, keeping the tension up by constantly being tailed by a relentless and invincible enemy. It even borrows from her last role in a main Sonic game, in that she was always being chased by Metal Sonic. This role of the chase is transposed onto Zero, obviously. The problem was, the execution was not near so great.

Big the Cat has probably seen the worst. Even if you haven't played the game, I'm sure you've all heard of the fishing involved with Big's game. I actually did not mind it too much, but even I admit, this doesn't make sense in the slightest. I'm not even getting into detail about it, it's not neccesary. E-102's was the only one who's game survived in any respect.

Adventure then went on to change Tails to a "Race Sonic" game, and Knuckles to a "Hunt for the emerald" game, which again, makes sense on paper, but the excecution was not so hot. Tails got fewer and shorter levels than Sonic. Knuckle's game was just plain tedious. However the emerald hunting was much improved in Sonic Adventure 2, despite what many will have you beleive just because they're mad it was included again.

These dramatic changes started the downfall of people liking new Sonic characters. Amy was too much like Sonic, but with all the cool, fun stuff stripped away. No roll, no speed, nothing. Big was slow and pointless, and E-102 was at the very least too unfamiliar. Then Sonic Adventure 2 offered a Sonic clone, who died and was awesome. Then he came back to life. Rouge also came into play, which was a Knuckles clone. I'm not sure what they did to the writers and character designers down at Sonic Team, but things were only getting worse.

Any new characters released are rarely unique or likable enough to ever care about. They offer nothing to add to each game. New characters, however, are not the problem people. Bad characters are the problem. Either a clone, or generic, they are increasingly dissapointing. To make matters worse, they keep getting churned out at a mind boggling rate. Here's a list just to give you a better idea of why people hate new characters. This is mostly chronological, all playable, all became somewhat major (recurring), and listed when they became the most well known. If I miss a few, forgive me, I think you'll understand. Purposly omitted Mighty and Emeral, so no tears.

Sonic the Hedgehog
Miles "Tails" Prower
Knuckles the Echidna
Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik
Amy Rose
Big the Cat
E-102 Gamma
Shadow the Hedgehog
Rouge the Bat
Cream the Rabbit
E-123 Omega
Vector the Crocodile
Espio the Chamelion
Charmy Bee
Blaze the Cat
Jet the Hawk
Wave the Swallow
Storm the Albatross
Silver the Hedgehog

That's nineteen main playable characters since the series inception. This is not including the massive cast of characters playable in spin-offs, or the recurring side characters. Then I could get into all the one time and non-playable characters. I won't though, just see that Sonic and his universe has grown quite a bit and it's brought a cast along with it. There's nothing wrong with expanding a series' universe, it's an expected and natural process.

The problem with this cast is lack of a likeable variety. There's four hedgehogs and two that could easily be considered clones of those (Espio and Blaze). Knuckles even has his own clone. The three birds are utterly generic in personality and as of this moment can do nothing to set them apart from 'NPC 184' in any game you choose. They were made for the racers. Cream is the Amy to Tails, slower and flys less distance. Her only saving grace is she can still move fast enough to warrent playing with... in Sonic Advance 2.

E-123 Omega is a robot that has father issues, and barely ever feels like the walking tower of mechanized death he's portrayed as. Instead he feels like 'generic big hulky guy'. Vector, and Charmy were good in personality (until they changed Vector to that awful 4Kids voice actor), but they rarely offered anything the other characters don't, and most people just hate Charmy anyway. One small mention needs to be made about the butchering of Knuckles personality. He used to be a cool cat, who was just a tad too trusting due to his years of isolation. Now he's a moron with no semblance of a brain at all, always making dumb remarks or doing stupid things. His purpose in life is lost on him as well, he just runs off leaving the Master Emerald behind for whatever reason.

So there you have it. The introduction of new characters is not a bad thing, it's the fact that all these characters offer nothing that most the others don't already have. If they do it's often not likable enough to even acknowledge their exsistance. So don't go crying the next time there's an inevitable new character announced, until you know what they're like.

I do beleive this is the end of my rantish thing, as I feel all my ideas have been exhausted as of now. I do hope this was fun to read, and opened some of your minds more. I fear this was clumsily written, but it was on the fly and I have been working on it on and off for a few days now. Even so, my rant is done, my thoughts are down, feel free to express your opinions if you have any, I'm all for constructive debate and criticisms. I may decide to go more in depth with specific games in the series (or even other game series') later, to clarify more.

All I want is for some of you to take of those Checkered Glasses of Nostalgia and see what Sonic really was about, back in the day. It wasn't about running non-stop on checkered grass and in front of checkered walls. Maybe I'm wrong with some of my ideas, maybe I'm not, the point is don't call out what you want without going back and seeing what that really is.

If you've read this entire thing and didn't gag at my writing skills, good for you, and thanks for reading. Now that I've wrote this my title seems to be only half fitting. Oh well.

*reluctantly clicks publish*

Wario, how could this have happened?

2008-07-27T18:46:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, I took the time to write up a smart, lenghty, and (hopefully) funny post entitled "The Guitar Hero Drug." This post introduced you to a long time friend (who we'll just call Dennis), and his house during a time of totally non-commercialized holiday cheer. I chronicled my epic journey down his long, off-white hallway, and my nerve wracking two minute stare at his thermostat. I told of how this good friend (who we'll just call Frank) introduced me to my newest love, Guitar Hero. I told of how Frank-Dennis helped foster this love in it's early stages.

It was right around when I got to actually anylizing the series, the entire post just dissapeared. My jaw was agape and drool was pooling on my poor old mum's laptop touchpad. I became disheartend, and Frank-Dennis felt pity on me. I thank him for showing his pity with his repeated IM's over skype of "penis" in every possible way it could be spelled, along with funny combinations of "penis" and various fruits.

Penisalope...

I spent all day trying to overcome my writers block(read: absolute depression).

'Perhaps it was not meant to be yet,' I would tell myself. 'You didn't really have all your ideas clearly in your head yet,' which was true enough for me to decide on letting another subject come to mind. But what?

Here is an artist's* representation of me trying to figure out what to write next.
I've saved Musical Paper Clocks for another time. *google image search

Like my dog? I call him Luitenant Awesome. As I was saying, I hit a road block in what to write. This blogging thing is new to me after all. That is until curiosity killed everything I thought I knew. I just had to click that stupid link on IGN didn't I?

I'll get to the point. I loath Wario. I loath everything about him. He is a boring, unoriginal, stupid, unappealing, sorry excuse for an anti-hero. The Wario Land games never once could hold my attention. I just can not grasp why he has so much appeal!

That is, until that fateful day (yesterday). Oh, why did I have to be curious?! I decided to watch some video's of Wario Land: Shake It! and now I fear my life will be forever changed. Not that it will be a bad change, I'm just not very good at handling changes as large as this. This game looks fine. It looks mighty fine.

Only a man like Wario can rock purple overalls.

To start, I'll go over a huge appeal for me, and it's one I wish more games would do. The entire game is hand drawn. Triple A, top quality animation hugs the game at every over sized, garlic filled, love handle. This game I think could be used as a damn fine example for visual style over awesome visuals. However, that's an entirely seperate topic, but an important one, and one I've just made myself think I could discuss on this here typing widget.

I hated the previous Wario Land games mainly because I could not find them fun. They had great ideas in how to progress through the game. I enjoyed the open platformer worlds, that were levels in and of themselves, but I think it was ultimately too slow, and the rewards didn't feel sufficient enough for the amount of work put into getting them. I can forgive a character if his games are fun, but I could just not enjoy Wario's. Well, except Wario Ware.

"Tell me where all the chaos emeralds are, Flicky, or I'll eat your noisy little friends! Then what will Sonic do?
Run around with a ridiculous talking sword? Ha! I'm so funny!"

"That doesn't make sense."

"Shutup!"

The gameplay seems to take what I hated about all the previous Wario Land games, and make it fun. It's much more fast paced, but still somewhat open, and completely a platformer (a genre which I want to make love with). The music is catchy, the animated visuals give the characters life like few before it, and more importantly it has almost converted one of the most adamant Wario haters. Or rather, "I don't get the fucking appeal!" -ers.

Of course I'm reserving complete judgment until I play the game, but hell, they'll have my money by then so it's all good!

I'm not accusing anyone of anything, but how did he get his arms to shake that fast?
He did have an awful long bit of downtime between games... *cough*

So here we go...

2008-07-25T23:09:00.001-05:00

My foray into the wild and crazy, overpopulated world of blogging! I had two other places I could have started this (and have been thinking about it for a while), but I happened across a blog on this site and figured now was as good a time as any. Even with nothing planned to talk about for a first post.

So I suppose my first few posts will be getting my bearings on how I want to do this. I have a few ideas I do. I will generally be talking about gaming, I suppose, seeing as that is such a huge part of my life.

"Oh, another gaming blog," I hear you say, through my monitor, before this is even posted.

Shutup! I'll have you know I... I... shutup!

Okay, so not just gaming. Though it is quite an interesting industry. Whatever else pops into this 'ol skull of mine I suppose will be good too. I'm not going to bog anyone down with useless, boring, personal stories and problems, unless they happen to be related to the subject at hand. Because this is the internet, and no one really cares!

Tell you what, just let this blog develop itself. I don't want to tie myself down with promises already, but I do have a basic idea and structure for how I want this done. At the end of it all, it better be entertaining and beloved, damnit!

One problem is that I do not have access to my computer at the moment, so certain things won't come to fruition for a little bit. Since you don't know about those, however, you can't care!

Ok, so I'm rambling, it's late, I've got to get my little brother in bed, and I have ultimately accomplished nothing in my introductory post! Score one for first impressions!

This be Adam, and he be out!